These last couple of days in class we have been talking a lot about communication and the way we communicate within our families.
There are so many ways to communicate. Some are good, and some are bad. There are many forms are communication. Some people communicate with looks, some with words, some with tone of voice, body language, media, non-verbal, etc. Sarcasm is another form of communication. But, some things need to be taken into account when using sarcasm. Sarcasm can be taken in a different way than the user intended.
Sarcasm is something that can cause/put a wedge between family members and friends relationships. Some people may not understand sarcasm the way another person might. Sarcasm in and of itself is a form of bringing another person down, while trying to be funny about it. Sarcasm can be all good and fun, but, at the same time, it can get in the way of building meaningful relationships. I, by nature, am a sarcastic person, and my husband is just as sarcastic as I am, and we both just take it as it comes, its all good and fun. But, as we have been discussing this in class, it has made me realize that sometimes I have to ask my husband if he is being serious or sarcastic. That is something that I don't think is good. I know that he has asked me if I am being serious or sarcastic sometimes too. This is something that shouldn't have to be asked. We shouldn't be so sarcastic so often that we have to ask each other the difference sometimes. That isn't building meaningful relationships.
Something else we have been talking about in class is anger... Ephesians 4:26-27; 29; 31 - Can you be angry and not sin?
27 "Neither give pace to the devil" - Satan brings anger... Not the Holy Ghost.
29 "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."
31 "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:"
Another topic we have been discussing is the importance of counseling with each other (family) within the home - Counseling with your Councils - M. Russell Ballard. Family counsel gives everybody within opportunity to discuss different topics of importance, everything is laid out on the table. When counseling, families come together to "discuss to consensus... RE: God's will." It is an opportunity to invite each member to converse with the Lord, to figure out what God's will is and what is the right thing to do. It should be open and free of contention and corruption. Each should have a turn to share their opinions and ideas.

Lesson 7: Selecting a Life Partner
Studies have shown more satisfaction comes from within marriage then from cohabiting with a significant other. Divorce rates are higher for those who cohabited before marriage then for those who did not.
I see this to be true just from my own significant observation. I know a few people who have decided to cohabit in a sense. One seems to just kind of come and go as he/she pleases. But there is no commitment or desire to commit... yet. Cohabiting before marriage has shown us that those who do, have a much higher chance of divorce than those who are did not cohabit before marriage. When a couple decides to cohabit they aren't fully committing themselves to each other. It is just a trial run. I have seen it within my own family. I have a sibling that has lived with a guy and they are currently engaged but still cannot decide on a date or whether they are really ready to fully commit to each other. Neither are very satisfied with where their relationship is at this point in time. I think that there are those few that have cohabited before marriage that won't get divorced, but there is a significantly higher amount of people that have cohabited before marriage that will.
Here is a quote from Marriage and Family: The Quest For Intimacy that studies have shown- "Whatever the reasons, however, the consequences are clear. Cohabiting before marriage makes a poorer-quality and less stable marriage more likely."
Lesson 8: Getting Married
With marriage comes a lot of adjustments for both. Families are being combined, traditions, cultures, habits, likes, dislikes... and the list goes on and on. With marriage comes the responsibility to set boundaries for each other, setting boundaries between parents and spouse (over-bearing mother-in-law).  There are some significant changes for the couple just in the first year.
Marriage is not an easy breezy thing. With my own marriage, I have definitely learned that marriage is harder than I thought it would be. There are things that I have learned about myself as well as my spouse that I would never have thought I would, and this can be said for my husband as well. They aren't bad things, but they are things that we have had to make personal adjustments to. With marriage comes compromise and sacrifice from each of us.
Marriage requires a lot of work from both. It is something that requires effort, and love. Love is so important! Love, and the willingness to sacrifice for each other. I know that my husband would do anything that he possibly could for me to make sure I am happy and comfortable and safe, and I would do the same. But it is also something that requires a lot of patience and willingness to work through whatever problems may arise. But something that is most important to have within a marriage is personal relationships with out Father in Heaven. Without Him in our lives, I believe we would have a lot more struggles and that our first year of marriage would not have been as easy as it was. Marriage in the temple is essential to the plan of happiness. It is not something that is always easy, but it is always going to be something that I would never change. It is always going to be something that we will never regret, even when we are going through a rough patch and want to punch each other in the face. We know that we love each other and that the Savior loves us and that we made the right decision when we decided to get sealed in the temple.

This semester I have been learning a lot on the importance to find some time alone away from children (if any) and distractions. Husband and wife need to have that one on one time to bond with each other and to keep their marriage happy and satisfactory.
Another thing that is important for husband and wife to do after having children is to find a time to be able to be personal with each other. To show each other that they love each other. Couples need that time together. Physical/Marital intimacy is a sacred thing. It is something for us to grow closer to each other as well as to our Heavenly Father.
This is something that we need to teach our children, that it is a sacred thing and that it should only be done within the bonds of marriage between a man and woman. That it is something that is okay to do once married. It is something that isn't only to be done when a couple is trying to create a child, it can be done anytime (if both want it). Help them to understand that it is sacred and help them to almost disregard what friends or others may say about sex that may influence him/her to experience it before marriage. Teach them that what the world may say about sex and the pleasures that come from it and that it is okay to do it multiple times with multiple partners is okay, enforce in them that it is not. Again, it is sacred.

I really enjoyed this weeks class discussion. We talked a lot about gender roles and why males and females are so different from each other. One reason, one very significant reason, is because that is just the way we were created. Men and Women are just created differently and were made to fulfill different roles. And I don't mean to say that women can't have career's or meet specific goals that women have made for themselves like getting an education and/or a career. But, women are naturally better at nurturing than men are. Women seem to have this innate ability to take care of a child and know what they need sometimes just by looking at them. Women, can and do, make connections to EVERYTHING! Whereas, men, generally think a little more spatially then women do. That is why more often than not men are better at things like football, or math, or building things then are women. Not to say that women can't do these things and do them well, because we can, but it comes much more naturally for men. I believe that we were made differently for a reason, I believe that we men and women have different roles to fill in life. No I don't think being a mother is for everybody or that being a stay at home mom is the only option for us as women, but I do believe that there are reasons that we are different and raising a family really shows those differences and why they work in the family system. Children need a mother and a father, and they need those mother/father roles for some very important reasons. A mother and a father offer extra support for their children, they offer extra love, they provide and meet their children's needs together. And the list can go on and on for the reasons why men and women are different.

This weeks discussion I thought was really interesting as we talked about different family dynamics and the roles that are played by each of the different family members and how those roles can change as circumstances change. I think that it is interesting how when a circumstance changes whether it be a death in the family, divorce, loss of job(s), etc. People in the family have to change and step up at times. Often times, for example, if a husband or wife loses their jobs, one or the other either has to start working if they hadn't before or take on more work if both were already working.
Today in particular we were talking about illegal immigration and how often times, only one member of the family (father) will come before the rest of the family and work, planning on sending money to the rest of the family back home, and more often than not, that still is not enough. So, to compensate for their losses, the mother and the older children back home will go to work, which in turn, causes younger children to grow up sooner than they normally would. They start to take on roles of providers and caretakers to help earn and save money to meet up with their family that has gone ahead. Relationships change as head of household roles change, while the father is away working and earning money, mother is home acting out both parental roles while working and earning money for her family. There are so many factors that play into running a family and playing roles and staying close as a family through hardships and trials. I think that it is so interesting how trial and hardships can either pull families together or apart from each other making each person much more dependent on themselves and not relying on anyone else.

Today in class we discussed how the parents play such a significant role in how the family functions as a whole. Some very interesting points were made about how different problems that occur within the family usually start when there is some sort of conflict or tension between the husband and wife and as they come closer and work out their individual problems and concerns the family slowly becomes closer and united as a whole. The problems, whatever they may be, become less and less of a problem in the family. I thought how interesting it was, for example, we talked about asthma that children developed, and I've forgotten the % that was given but as parent trials started to diminish, so did their children's asthma attacks. It is amazing to me what kind of problems can come about through different tensions and trials that the parents go through.

This week talking about the family was really enlightening to me. I have always had questions and never knew which sources were the right sources. Just in these last two weeks I have really seen the importance of research and checking the sources to make sure that they are reliable. There are so many details to look into to know for sure that my sources found are reliable, accredited sources. I have to look at the studies done, how many other people have done the same study and what their conclusions were, if all conclusions to the same study were compatible, etc. There is so much to look at!! But there is so much out there to learn, there are both good and bad things and I'm excited to continue learning about the facts and how to know how to find the right sources